Jonathan has willingly giving us permission to share his adoption story so that others can realize there is hope in the midst of a difficult situation. All client experiences with Advice & Aid Pregnancy Centers are kept with the highest confidence. The stories that are shared come from the real-life experiences that our clients, staff and volunteers had during their unplanned pregnancy.
His name has been changed but his story is true.
I was blessed to be adopted at the age of five days old by two loving parents.
But I also want to give thanks to the young lady that chose to give me life.
That is the starting of my obituary that I have had written out for years and have put away with my pre-arrangements. Although, as you read the rest of my story, you’ll see that my obituary has changed now.
A Wonderful Childhood
I knew I was special when my mother sat me down before I went to kindergarten. She said, “I just wanted to let you know that you did not come out of my stomach. Another young lady had you and could not take care of you, so she gave you to us so we could take care of you. That means you are special!” My mother was not always the most eloquent in how she chose her words, but on that day, she got an A+.
Throughout my lifetime, I was never treated any different than my sister. I had always felt the same love from my Mom and Dad that she did. Throughout childhood and going into young adulthood, I always felt blessed by the lady that chose to give me life. What a sacrifice she made to give me up to someone that could to take care of me! I knew God did create me and I did have a purpose in this world. However, I never had any desire to seek out my birth mother because I felt that I had such wonderful parents. I didn’t want to make them feel that they did not do a good enough job somehow
Beginning to Help Others
At age 47 I went through one of the biggest trials in my life: a divorce. For me, it was worse than going through a death. You soon find out with difficult trials in your life that you’re either going to pull God closer to you or push him away. I thankfully chose to pull him closer, and soon after, I felt God tugging on my heartstrings to defend his precious unborn children. I even had the privilege of helping one young mother decide that she could continue with her pregnancy!
During that time in my life that I was helping volunteer at a pregnancy resource center, I felt God telling me that the young lady who chose to give me life just needed to hear me say, “Thanks for your sacrifice. You did the right thing. I had wonderful parents and you didn’t need to worry.” Within weeks, I called the state department of Illinois, putting in my name to contact my birth mother. After eight years, the laws had changed, and my case ended up in the hands of Emily, who worked with an agency that looks up birth mothers for free.
Finding My Birth Family – A Rocky Road
She first found my birth mother and sent her a letter, followed up by a phone conversation. However, my birth mother didn’t feel she could make contact right then. I asked Emily if she had let her know I wanted to have contact to simply thank her for giving me life, for her sacrifice and that I had wonderful parents. Emily had done just that said that my birth mother was very grateful. I was glad that I had the chance to get that message to her.
Emily then went on to find my birth father, who had passed away, but I was able to meet my two half-sisters. I have been blessed to stay in contact with one of them. They were able to look up my birth mother, and let me know that she had recently lost her mother, her mother-in-law and her husband, all within 2 months’ time. That would explain why she was not ready to have contact with me when Emily reached out to her.
A year later, I was surprised with a phone call from Emily saying my birth mother was ready to meet now. I made a trip to Wisconsin where her youngest son picked me up and we were able to talk for a few hours before I met her. What a glorious occasion just to wrap my arms around her and thank her! I was able to spend a couple of days talking about our lives. Within weeks after leaving, her son called to tell me that she had taken a turn for the worse, and had gone into assisted living. He told me that they had always thought there was something bothering her, but after I had met her, she seemed to finally be at ease. The next year, I received the call that my mother had passed away. I wanted to attend the funeral, but only if both sides of the family were at ease with that decision. My brother assured me that I was family, and even offered to pay, on behalf of our mother, for a luxury suite for my stay. I told him that she had already done the most important thing for me . . . she gave me life!
Honoring two BRAVE Mothers
I am so grateful that I had time to meet my birth mother and thank her. I have half-brothers and a half-sister who have stayed in contact with me. Three months after losing my birth mother, I lost my mother. She chose for years to show her love and care for me by protecting me the best she knew how, and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
I am so blessed . . . my mother chose to give me life!
At it’s core, this story is about the bravery of two women . . . one a birth mother, one an adoptive mother. Both women stepped out of their comfort zones, chose a little bit harder path, and in the end, were rewarded with tremendous blessings.
Neither of these women would have told you it was an easy path. But for Jonathan, who is living a full life and making an impact for good on those around him, their bravery has meant everything. And through him, in a way, they are touching those many lives that he is touching. Their legacy and memory lives on.
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and wondering if you have the strength to actually go through with this and choose adoption, take heart. Your story, although maybe not where you planned for it to be, is being written now and can have a long, lasting and very beautiful end.
You are braver than you know!
Need some help with this decision? We can walk along beside you, ensuring you are never alone in this process!